Today is the last night and the last day i am taking Crap from people in my life that i don't need in it. They Can just suck it! After Midnight you are no longer in my life, You have intill then to actually explain why i should keep you in my life.! I should have noone in my life that cares. Really, Who deserves people that care if the other person is just being selfish and not even trying! I have done it for 14 whole years now, and I AM TIRED OF IT!
Anyone else agree?.... Well i do. I need to figure out who is really with me and actually is my friends, that care and are pushing me in the right direction. I really need to change my life and everything that is in it, Because i am already going in the wrong direction. God help me.
I'm changing starting at 12:01!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Bad Times....
In my whole life i have had so many bad things happen to me... I don't know why but they just do, It's like i have a damn curse on me? But from this past Month and week, I have realized that it is not bad luck, karma, or anything bad. It's just the Decision's i make, and the lies that come out of my mouth. I know it's unfaithful to lie and do bad stuff, but everytime i try to do one thing nice, everything messes up. Just this Monday night I did the most stupidest thing i have EVER done in life. I did something really bad. Me and my boyfriend have the most amazing relationship i have actually have had. Everyone that i have dated is JERKS! I Actually love him, not like " O yea i love you ", Like "I love you with all my heart and don't want to hurt you ever".
That's where the mistake's came in.I Just wish i can go back and didn't do anything. But i did, and i made the choice to. Witch in my Circumstance, i should take the punishment. I know i am probably going to cry after it but looks like it's better than lieing and not saying anything. O God, HELP ME!
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."- Isaiah 40:29
"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze."- Psalm 18:32-34
Bad things happen for a reason, the reason is not you. It's the choice's that you make and do, And for the people out there that are having the same tings, I pray for you. I pray for myself the most. I hate life. I HATE IT!!!! Period!
That's where the mistake's came in.I Just wish i can go back and didn't do anything. But i did, and i made the choice to. Witch in my Circumstance, i should take the punishment. I know i am probably going to cry after it but looks like it's better than lieing and not saying anything. O God, HELP ME!
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."- Isaiah 40:29
"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze."- Psalm 18:32-34
Bad things happen for a reason, the reason is not you. It's the choice's that you make and do, And for the people out there that are having the same tings, I pray for you. I pray for myself the most. I hate life. I HATE IT!!!! Period!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Angry Thoughts...
Okay i know how EVERYONE gets when someone gets you so mad that you just want to Explode and just go off on someone. It happened to me today. I hate when people text you so many times saying "Where are you", or "Whats up" over and over again. It pisses me off when such like things happen like that. When it happenes to me i try SO hard just to let it go and not get angry with it, Because if you get angry and keep it going your just going to make yourself just want to kill yourself or that person. Just remember God is always with you and if you just let it go, and always pray for something better to happen, Somethings in life will change and you can be the person you have always wanted to be, without bein someone you didn't want to be.
"He hath shewed thee, O man, What [ is ] good; and what doth the lord required of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God". - Micah 6:8
Today was the un-amagineable. I dont really like when people tell me to hurry up, it's not like the world is going to end, and become hell or anything. It's not like i haven't waited for you to do something in life. So just tell me "why" Can people, family, everyone be so mean and really stupid at times. For once in life i would like someone to just tell me "why" is there a God and what does it have to do with the earth and helping people? I have never really even know why it matters? He never really helps people. There are different descripsons of him, in the bible it says something about nappy hair, most times thats what a person describes as a black person. So they say he is white? does anyone really have a picture of him, i have never seen a real picture. So tell me is he Black or White?
"He hath shewed thee, O man, What [ is ] good; and what doth the lord required of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God". - Micah 6:8
Today was the un-amagineable. I dont really like when people tell me to hurry up, it's not like the world is going to end, and become hell or anything. It's not like i haven't waited for you to do something in life. So just tell me "why" Can people, family, everyone be so mean and really stupid at times. For once in life i would like someone to just tell me "why" is there a God and what does it have to do with the earth and helping people? I have never really even know why it matters? He never really helps people. There are different descripsons of him, in the bible it says something about nappy hair, most times thats what a person describes as a black person. So they say he is white? does anyone really have a picture of him, i have never seen a real picture. So tell me is he Black or White?
I Have No Control Over You..
Wow, This Blog is for my Amazing best friend Mejra Kladusak♥
"put your bread in your purse before the hobo steals it"
"COME ON MEJRA, i want you to get your hick accent on"-Me.
Aha. This girl right here she thinks she knows everything about me, and to tell you the Truth she does??? She is like the one i trust most with everything now.I love her with all my heart.At first when i met her on 2.10.10♥ ( i knew nothing was going to be the same when i met her) She changed me into who i am today, She made this big part of me come out and Explore the world, and do stuff i never even thought about doing. Most people At church or at a public area, When they see us, they don't think oww look at them. They say to themselves "What the heck are those girls doing, There not like us we shouldn't talk or hang with them". But they don't even know us, Me and Mejra are like a Hyper War Convention for Pink Panther 2 Marathons going over and over again, intill you get tired of it. Were Creative she makes thinks in life so Amazing, That when you Judge us the way we are, You don't even get to see the real us.
Me and Mejra have the most craziest times ever, even though we do get in arguments, and disagreements we still make up and have a big laugh over it. She right now she is sleeping on the couch and doesn't even know i am writing this. Intill the morning when she see's it. Aha. She is Amazing,Beautiful,CRAZY, Artistic, Adventures as you want her to be. But dont judge people just because there cover, You always have to go and actually find out who she really is before, just deciding weather or not she is Good, or Bad?. Because she is Good, She doesn't know it. But She is trying her best and that's what i am Proud of, She is starting to just open her eyes and see who she is and where she needs to be in life.
So Keep Up The Good Work Mejra.
Love You With ALL My Heart♥
"put your bread in your purse before the hobo steals it"
"COME ON MEJRA, i want you to get your hick accent on"-Me.
Aha. This girl right here she thinks she knows everything about me, and to tell you the Truth she does??? She is like the one i trust most with everything now.I love her with all my heart.At first when i met her on 2.10.10♥ ( i knew nothing was going to be the same when i met her) She changed me into who i am today, She made this big part of me come out and Explore the world, and do stuff i never even thought about doing. Most people At church or at a public area, When they see us, they don't think oww look at them. They say to themselves "What the heck are those girls doing, There not like us we shouldn't talk or hang with them". But they don't even know us, Me and Mejra are like a Hyper War Convention for Pink Panther 2 Marathons going over and over again, intill you get tired of it. Were Creative she makes thinks in life so Amazing, That when you Judge us the way we are, You don't even get to see the real us.
Me and Mejra have the most craziest times ever, even though we do get in arguments, and disagreements we still make up and have a big laugh over it. She right now she is sleeping on the couch and doesn't even know i am writing this. Intill the morning when she see's it. Aha. She is Amazing,Beautiful,CRAZY, Artistic, Adventures as you want her to be. But dont judge people just because there cover, You always have to go and actually find out who she really is before, just deciding weather or not she is Good, or Bad?. Because she is Good, She doesn't know it. But She is trying her best and that's what i am Proud of, She is starting to just open her eyes and see who she is and where she needs to be in life.
So Keep Up The Good Work Mejra.
Love You With ALL My Heart♥
Barely Breathing...
Wow, i know how it feels to actually not be able to breath. Boys suck in life. You think there everything and there not, The only people i actually trust now is God, Mejra Kladusak and , Madison Stallings. There everything to me. Boy's in life all they ever want is the pleasure to get something, But most of all to break the ONLY thing in your body that means everything, Your heart...
I have had so much in life ruined by few things in life......Boys, Friends, And stupid fights that don't even mean anything. My opinion in life, is screw everyone and just live the life you want, and don't take anything for granted. Right now.....Nothing makes sense to me right now. I'm going to high school and starting my life over again, Boys are boys they just want sex, and the opportunity to take your virginity..
Drugs, Alcohol, Cutting, Sex, Abuse, Rape, Neglect, Religion, Popularity, Drama, Impressions, ALL these things mean Everything to so many people. I don't really know why, and i don't want to change to make people happy, it's stupid.
MEJRA! She has changed my life SO much, She makes everything in my day smile with just a wink in the eyes, She beautiful, talented, and everything i could imagine in a BEST FRIEND! She makes just something so bad and terrible make no sense at all, and just to laugh at the fact; I cryed over it?? I love her with all my heart. 2.10.10♥[ When we met ]
I have had so much in life ruined by few things in life......Boys, Friends, And stupid fights that don't even mean anything. My opinion in life, is screw everyone and just live the life you want, and don't take anything for granted. Right now.....Nothing makes sense to me right now. I'm going to high school and starting my life over again, Boys are boys they just want sex, and the opportunity to take your virginity..
Drugs, Alcohol, Cutting, Sex, Abuse, Rape, Neglect, Religion, Popularity, Drama, Impressions, ALL these things mean Everything to so many people. I don't really know why, and i don't want to change to make people happy, it's stupid.
MEJRA! She has changed my life SO much, She makes everything in my day smile with just a wink in the eyes, She beautiful, talented, and everything i could imagine in a BEST FRIEND! She makes just something so bad and terrible make no sense at all, and just to laugh at the fact; I cryed over it?? I love her with all my heart. 2.10.10♥[ When we met ]
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