Hobo(Mejra), Black Boy(Kiandre), Stripperness( *ME* )

Wow Last night was pretty amazing. Me and mejra and kiandre walked around from like midnight through six-fifty in the morning YOOO!!! 

1. We got stopped by the cop to get off the road!!! Really there was room, SCREW OFF!!!
2. Road a broken bike on southwest parking lot,.
3. Found an amazing comfortable blanket(:
4. Fucked shit up, at alot of places.
5. Put broken construction crap in the road, some stupid road over it.. wow...
6. Layed in the street(:
7. Mejra almost got ran over, its okay, the car went around(:
8. Play ground, we ALL fell asleep on it.. IT was  HILARIOUS<3
9. We walked around blue raider knocking crap down(:
10. Knock crap over at southwest track, it smelt so freakin bad!!!!
11. Had a water fight with sprinklers, kiandre got naked.
12. We got in a MUD FIGHT!!!
13. We Left and was going to go to his house for COOKIES(:, but didnt. Even though Lauren was CRAVING FREAKIN COOKIES!!!
14. We snuck in the black boy, put him in the closet.
15. The we slept for a while, untill he left around 7:55. (:
16. Oh by the way we burned some of the feild, and it was fun, that was between 10 & 11.

  

            FUN NIGHT!!!!

So we didnt even get caught wow... that was close to... Doing it again(:

Went to a rave that night to, it was BEAST
mejra also peed in a truck and we turned the fire extinguisher on.and made it stay on.

we jacked their shit, ayy!♥

                                      

                                    That is all thank you, Now stop stalking my page(:

Upset, Stressed, Inpain?..

      God, With me going into high school for my first year, it hurts and it is painful. All these people just stare at you and think you are stupid and dumb, creepy, or not popular. But we have feelings you know? All we want is to fit in, and be friends, not enemies. My sister went through alot during high school, I'm scared to go now. She had break ups, fights, not being wanted, and other stuff, but the one thing she had that I'm scared to go through is having all those and maybe going to a therapist?.

  For high school, my parents and siblings think i am going to do bad and just not focus on my work. I really want to focus on my word actually and just be good, but get to go out and hang with some of my friends, not thinking about the pressure and friends i have suffered and lost in the past? One of them was my best friend Maddie.For some reason every time I'm with mejra, i can't help thinking that was me and Maddie just a couple of months ago... I do miss her alott, but we grew apart and we don't have much things to talk about anymore, she's a cheerleader and I'm a band person. We talk often still, but not much?

Right now i just wish for something to happen, and not for everyone to pressure me into doing everything perfect?

Ugh I'm in stress with:

• Boys
• Work
• Band
• Grades
• Friends

  For my first year of high school i just want to get good grades and have a good relationship, and get trust back from my parents..

Well let's just hope i do that...

Or You know what happens?

 

 

Heart Beat Broke...

  Have you ever been on the edge to a break up? I have, Last night it was the worst of everything. I cryed my eyes out all night. I never knew he felt like that when i did that. Listen I'm going to give you advice, If you drink,smoke, or drugs, Never ever have boys near you, They will FUCK with you. I made out with two boys, i am not afraid to say there names,1. Louie.  2. Josh...

Well i made out with them and kissed them. Even though i go out with Mason, Witch i am in love with him.....I love him to death, I just wish he would be reading this right now, To show him how sorry i am.The worst part is i didn't even tell him that intill he heard me on the phone with mejra,My Stupid self forgot to put it on mute, As Usual.

Either way i was going to tell him, but he found out the horrible way.. Mann All night i still thought and thought about what i did wrong, and told him sorry and sorry, but he still forgave me, but in my heart i knew he shouldn't have givin me another chance. He hasn't even done anything to me, I just have one question for me..

"Why did i do it, Why Didn't i think and stop myself before i had the chance to save myself and just not have had this happen".

Last night was the worst night of my life, Literally.

For once i almost wanted to just get a knife or a gun, or just lay in the bath tub, and die. No Joke.

But Today he decides to make it worse buy saying stuff about other girls to me, Like i want to fuck them so hard it hurts me, or I am going to put my tongue in her bird house, or I might Fill them up and not with my hands, "Don't worry i will try not to take them to into the back room".Damn for once i want boys to just shut the fuck up and actually not have pay back on girls? Wtf your subpost to be the man, not the bitchy girl who wants Revenge.

All yesterday and last night i gave people hugs when they cryed or was just not in the mood, and tryed to make them smile, but For once i wanted to be the person someone just came up to and gotten a hug, not be like " Ow, Can i give you a hug? ", Like they just walk up and don't care if i am in a conversation and just gave me one. I really really needed one badly.

Fuck My Life.

Period....

  

Last Night For This Crap...

  Today is the last night and the last day i am taking Crap from people in my life that i don't need in it. They Can just suck it! After Midnight you are no longer in my life, You have intill then to actually explain why i should keep you in my life.! I should have noone in my life that cares. Really, Who deserves people that care if the other person is just being selfish and not even trying! I have done it for 14 whole years now, and I AM TIRED OF IT!
  Anyone else agree?.... Well i do. I need to figure out who is really with me and actually is my friends, that care and are pushing me in the right direction. I really need to change my life and everything that is in it, Because i am already going in the wrong direction. God help me.

 I'm changing starting at 12:01!

Bad Times....

  In my whole life i have had so many bad things happen to me... I don't know why but they just do, It's like i have a damn curse on me? But from this past Month and week, I have realized that it is not bad luck, karma, or anything bad. It's just the Decision's i make, and the lies that come out of my mouth. I know it's unfaithful to lie and do bad stuff, but everytime i try to do one thing nice, everything messes up. Just this Monday night I did the most stupidest thing i have EVER done in life. I did something really bad. Me and my boyfriend have the most amazing relationship i have actually have had. Everyone that i have dated is JERKS! I Actually love him, not like " O yea i love you ", Like "I love you with all my heart and don't want to hurt you ever".
   That's where the mistake's came in.I Just wish i can go back and didn't do anything. But i did, and i made the choice to. Witch in my Circumstance, i should take the punishment. I know i am probably going to cry after it but looks like it's better than lieing and not saying anything. O God, HELP ME!


"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."- Isaiah 40:29

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze."- Psalm 18:32-34



Bad things happen for a reason, the reason is not you. It's the choice's that you make and do, And for the people out there that are having the same tings, I pray for you. I pray for myself the most. I hate life. I HATE IT!!!! Period!

Angry Thoughts...

   Okay i know how EVERYONE gets when someone gets you so mad that you just want to Explode and just go off on someone. It happened to me today. I hate when people text you so many times saying "Where are you", or "Whats up" over and over again. It pisses me off when such like things happen like that. When it happenes to me i try SO hard just to let it go and not get angry with it, Because if you get angry and keep it going your just going to make yourself just want to kill yourself or that person. Just remember God is always with you and if you just let it go, and always pray for something better to happen, Somethings in life will change and you can be the person you have always wanted to be, without bein someone you didn't want to be.

"He hath shewed thee, O man, What [ is ] good; and what doth the lord required of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God". - Micah 6:8

 Today was the un-amagineable. I dont really like when people tell me to hurry up, it's not like the world is going to end, and become hell or anything. It's not like i haven't waited for you to do something in life. So just tell me "why" Can people, family, everyone be so mean and really stupid at times. For once in life i would like someone to just tell me "why" is there a God and what does it have to do with the earth and helping people? I have never really even know why it matters? He never really helps people. There are different descripsons of him, in the bible it says something about nappy hair, most times thats what a person describes as a black person. So they say he is white? does anyone really have a picture of him, i have never seen a real picture. So tell me is he Black or White?

I Have No Control Over You..

Wow, This Blog is for my Amazing best friend Mejra Kladusak♥


"put your bread in your purse before the hobo steals it" 
"COME ON MEJRA, i want you to get your hick accent on"-Me.


  Aha. This girl right here she thinks she knows everything about me, and to tell you the Truth she does??? She is like the one i trust most with everything now.I love her with all my heart.At first when i met her on 2.10.10♥ ( i knew nothing was going to be the same when i met her) She changed me into who i am today, She made this big part of me come out and Explore the world, and do stuff i never even thought about doing. Most people At church or at  a public area, When they see us, they don't think oww look at them. They say to themselves "What the heck are those girls doing, There not like us we shouldn't talk or hang with them". But they don't even know us, Me and Mejra are like a Hyper War Convention for Pink Panther 2 Marathons going over and over again, intill you  get tired of it. Were Creative she makes thinks in life so Amazing, That when you Judge us the way we are, You don't even get to see the real us. 
  Me and Mejra have the most craziest times ever, even though we do get in arguments, and disagreements we still make up and have a big laugh over it. She right now she is sleeping on the couch and doesn't even know i am writing this. Intill the morning when she see's it. Aha. She is Amazing,Beautiful,CRAZY, Artistic, Adventures as you want her to be. But dont judge people just because there cover, You always have to go and actually  find out who she really is before, just deciding weather or  not she is Good, or Bad?. Because she is Good, She doesn't know it. But She is trying her best and that's what i am Proud of, She is starting to just open her eyes and see who she is and where she needs to be in life.


   So Keep Up  The Good Work Mejra.
       Love You With ALL My Heart♥

Barely Breathing...

   Wow, i know how it feels to actually not be able to breath. Boys suck in life. You think there everything and there not, The only people i actually trust now is God, Mejra Kladusak and , Madison Stallings. There everything to me. Boy's in life all they ever want is the pleasure to get something, But most of all to break the ONLY thing in your body that means everything, Your heart...
I have had so much in life ruined by few things in life......Boys, Friends, And stupid fights that don't even mean anything. My opinion in life, is screw everyone and just live the life you want, and don't take anything for granted. Right now.....Nothing makes sense to me right now. I'm going to high school and starting my life over again, Boys are boys they just want sex, and the opportunity to take your virginity..
   Drugs, Alcohol, Cutting, Sex, Abuse, Rape, Neglect, Religion, Popularity, Drama, Impressions, ALL these things mean Everything to so many people. I don't really know why, and i don't want to change to make people happy, it's stupid.


MEJRA! She has changed my life SO much, She makes everything in my day smile with just a wink in the eyes, She beautiful, talented, and everything i could imagine in a BEST FRIEND! She makes just something so bad and terrible make no sense at all, and just to laugh at the fact; I cryed over it?? I love her with all my heart. 2.10.10♥[ When we met ]